By: Christine Gutierrez, Psychotherapist
There are different types of comfort.
The comfort of a delicious chai tea, foamy at the top, with just the right amount of sweetness. Reading your favorite book, curled up on a comfy couch. Cuddling your fur baby. Laughing with those you love.
These comforts are comforts of truth, desire, love.
Then there is another kind of comfort.
A comfort that is dangerous to your psyche, your soul, and to living a life based on your heart’s desire. Staying in a relationship with a guy that you know in your gut isn’t for you, but thinking it’s better than nothing. Staying at a job that doesn’t light you up, way beyond that internal deadline, because you fear doing something different and failing.
Playing small in your business and not sharing your heart for fear of rejection.
These are comforting in some ways but its because they don’t require you to die a certain death. They allow you to stay the same and be the same. When we entertain too many comforts from this fear based zone, a little part of our soul spark dims. We feel disconnected from our truth and we feel sad anyway. This is what I like to call a lose-lose. We stay in the comfort of the same ol but we don’t risk seeing what’s on the other side of the fear.
I know there have been so many times where I feel it’s better to wait… and before I know it I am waiting and waiting and nothing is changing. Albert Einstein once said “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” The fear actually increases and the comfort and attactchment to that fear based comfort increases, and it makes it harder to leave. Makes it harder to leap. Makes it harder to soar.
The scary truth is “we know.” We’ve always known what’s good for us.
There is a place within us, deep inside, the place where the soul voice is. This voice is ancient, wise, and kind. This voice is a mentor, a compass. And we feel it in our gut when we are playing small and just giving in to a comfort for the moment. We know when things feel good and we know when things don’t feel good. We know the difference between a temporary comfort and a true authentic comfort. Our mind sometimes trick us into thinking that it’s okay, but our soul is always urging us to live our most authentic true lives.
It’s normal for us to feel scared when we are about to do something different and leave beyond all those blankets of comforts that no longer serve us. It’s scary and unfamilar and new and we fear that there will be nothing better on the other side. But if it isn’t working and you don’t dare for something more, then you won’t be happy regardless 😉
So might as well TAKE THE LEAP and TRY.
Where are you allowing comforts that are just based on fear and temporary cover-ups to take over in your life? Take a moment and check in with your heart.
Where are you desiring more but scared?
Can you give yourself permission to just go there?
To just sink into that seat of your soul and let her tell you what she truly desires. Ask your soul what you must do to leap, and then take one step towards your desire. You can even just write down what your true desire is, beyond your fears.
Beyond the fear is growth. Beyond the temporary comforts is the true comfort of knowing you are living life from your truth and not your fears.
I have fears and you have fears, but let’s promise ourselves to dig deep and give voice to our desires so that one by one the fears subside and our passions rise.
Are you ready to take the leap and go out of your comfort zone? I’m launching “Fierce Love Fierce Life,” a 6 week immersion experience for women who are ready to begin the healing process for their love wounds, which starts May 18th.
I will show you how to know your story and the issues that have you stuck in your love life. I infuse spirituality into my work so you will also learn powerful spiritual tools to gain energy to boost your worth and exude confidence, while also teaching psychological practical tools to cleanse the shit in your life that is blocking you from love that you might not notice. You can learn moriercelovefiercelife.com.
Christine Gutierrez is a leading Latina psychotherapist with a Masters in Human Behavior and Development focusing on prevention and community from City College of New York. In addition, she is an advice columnist, speaker, author, and poet. Christineg.tv is an online hub that features psychologically-savvy and soulful advice, articles, videos, private consultations, workshops, retreats (both live + virtual), radio appearances, and television projects. “Ancient wisdom with a modern twist” is her motto.
Anllelic Lozada “Angie” is a proud P.A.N.K (professional aunt with no kids), a Personal Marketing Strategist in NYC and Los Tweens & Teens “Tia-in-Charge,” based in New York City. Anllelic wants you to best your best life so you can positively influence your tween and teen. Subscribe to her weekly e-newsletter in Spanish in marketingparatucarrera.com/Vendete, where she shares personal marketing strategies to help you “Comunicar lo genial que eres.”